Tears stream down my face and I wipe them away quickly. A small, deadly lump starts to form in my dry throat and ignore it. I suddenly find myself being angry. Angry at myself, why would I cry over such a small little thing? Why would I cry over something that will mean nothing, in a few hours; even in a few minutes. God, think about all the other people in the world that have bigger problems than you. Think about starving people in underprivileged countries or think about that someone that you love greatly who is going through a difficult time in their lives and you are sitting here crying over something that’s not even worth a saddened face. I often think like this. I often hide away my feelings in fear that someone will tell me that I’m a blubbering like a baby who should just deal with the fact that sometimes life sucks. But I shouldn’t have to feel like this, it’s not right. Just because what I’m upset about isn’t as large of a problem as somebody else is having doesn’t mean I should just dismiss it. It’s okay to feel sad over little things because that is life and that is who I am. No one ever tells you to compare your happiness. No one ever tells you to stop being happy because somewhere in the world there is somebody getting married and they are far more happy than you.
Emotions are powerful things and sometimes they are wonderful, especially when it is such a strong emotion like love or happiness. But a lot of the time emotions aren’t like that, you are angry, hurt, unhappy, or distraught. But that is okay because that means that you are human. ‘There is no love without loss’ – this is so true because how would you know happiness if you never knew sadness. The balance between your emotions is what is key to life, like with all things.
I want you all to know that my email is always open because on more than one occasion I have bottled up my feelings and not really told people how I feel because I’m always thinking about people who have more to be unhappy about than me. But you guys shouldn’t have to feel how I have sometimes felt. So please, if you ever need to write me an email and I will try to help as best that I can. (Even though I’m not totally known for my excellent advice, people do say I’m a good listener).
Don’t get me wrong, I do have some people in my life how I turn to in times where my emotions get the better of me. I have recently this year made a new friend and I am able to talk to her freely about how I feel as she often goes through the same things too. Most of the time I’m also able to talk to my mother, who is an amazing woman, and she has always supported me through times of need and I really have no idea what I would do without her.
Emotions are powerful and sometimes even dangerous. But there is always something that you can do. Talk to someone, go for a long walk, read your favorite book, listen to music, punch someone (joking it’s always better to just punch a pillow!) Remeber that I’m always here too.